Side Effects May Include

Have you seen this commercial for Latisse? It's this stuff that supposed to make your eyelashes grow fuller.

Why not just use mascara? Mascara doesn't make your skin or eyes darker like whatever the hell Brooke Shields is hawking. Apparently, that stuff can turn your eyes brown(er).

Thanks for making me paranoid about yet another body part!

Thursday Thursday

I was watching King of the Hill earlier tonight and heard the best quote ever from Hank Hill's boss, "I'm addicted to the good things in life." I could totally say the same thing about myself.

However, instead of overindulging in lap dances and ice cream like Buck, I tend to have one too many baked goods and pieces of chocolate. I also sit in my comfy house too much, relaxing on the couch.

Perspective

My 35th birthday is just under 2 weeks away and I'm not dealing with it well. In the past, my birthday has been a source of joy for me. Mostly, this was due to the receipt of presents, but I also enjoy any reason for a celebration.

Turning 30 wasn't that big of a deal. I kind of looked forward to being less anxious about silly things and being more self-confident. The good thing is that I don't feel 35. I feel about 25. It's better than feeling 16 like I did until I was about 30.

Time just seems to be slipping by me unnoticed. I look up and 5 years have passed and I barely have anything to show for it. Old friends reconnect with me and start off with the usual, "So what have you been up to?" and I feel like my answer is totally lame, "I have a job." Of course, I'm great at spreading that idea out over the course of a paragraph, but that about sums up the accomplishments of the last 15 years or so.

My loneliness rearing is it's ugly head causing me to dread my birthday. That's really the heart of the matter...no pun intended. Maybe I should stop trying to force the universe to adhere to my timetable (now, now, I want it now!) and just go with the flow.

On top of everything else, there is this feeling inside of me like I'm on the verge of doing something foolish, and I don't really care about the consequences. Or I could get off my lazy ass and do something worthwhile instead of whining about it on a blog...But that would require effort on my part, as well some sort of motivation.

Now what am I going to do?

The season finale of My Boys is on tonight. It was the last watchable show not in repeats. What's up with Hollywood? Can I have a real season of TV please, instead of these half-assed attempts? Just when I get into a show, suddenly it's the season finale or worse yet, it gets canceled.

Seriously, powers that be, would you please get a clue? People will be staying home a heck of alot more since they can't afford to go out and do anything, so you might as well start putting out something other than yet another game show disguised as a reality show.

What the?

I got this message via a social networking site:

just curios since i noticed taht you work for [misspelled company name] or [other company name]???which one is it actually?anywayz im new to real estate and just trying ot netwrk can you tel me if you needed a degree to work for them and was it that you do?

Is there a dumbass to English dictionary somewhere?

Dear Mr. Smith:

Is this a joke? Are you a friend of mine trying to rile me up for a cheap laugh? I find it difficult to believe that anyone can graduate from high school with such poor grammar skills. Anyone who uses "anywayz" will not make it far in commercial real estate.

Also, unless you are e.e. cummings, you must USE CAPITAL LETTERS at the beginning of a sentence. Unless you enjoy endless mocking, you might also want to try reviewing your messages before you send them out.

Don't contact me again. Your grammar frightens and confuses me.

I still think this was sent by one of my friends under a false identity. It just seems difficult to believe that someone could actually be this dumb.

Just a few hints

Any residential real estate agents who are contemplating doing a commercial real estate deal, please do me a favor and DON'T DO IT.

Just refer the client, who is most likely your friend, distant family member or fellow church goer, to a commercial real estate agent. You will get a nice referral fee from said CRE agent and the deal won't get all screwed up because you don't know what the hell you are doing. You don't see me trying to sell houses. Why? Because I don't know how the hell to do it!

Do you even know the difference between a dock high and a drive in loading door? Riddle me this, what does Triple Net mean? Have you even seen a letter of intent before?

I swear, I should start a seminar for residential agents on how to do a commercial deal:

Step 1: Call a commercial real estate agent.
Step 2: Wait for referral check.

Seriously, stop trying to do commercial deals, residential agents! You've wasted enough of my time and made me stressed out more than necessary! I'm running out of exclamation points to throw at you, so stop now!

Office Conversation

"Do you have any leg warmers?" asked the new guy from his cube.

"That has to be the most absurd question ever asked in the office," I replied from mine.

Not sure about this...

One of my friends keeps joking about how the world is going to end in 2012.  She uses it as an excuse to throw caution to the wind and enjoy life.

It makes me wonder about those people who really do think the world is going to end.  I can't even begin to imagine really believing that we all only had 2 and a half years left.  It's kind of depressing.  An average human lifetime really isn't long enough to thoroughly enjoy all this planet has to offer.  Two years is just ridiculously short.

However, it is a nice excuse to have for behaving less than responsibly.  Sometimes I think I should let myself get into a little trouble.  Nothing criminal, just gossip worthy.

Seasonique - ew!

Actually, Mother Nature says a woman has to have 12 periods a year. Having only 3 or 4 cannot be good for me no mater what your "research" says, Barr Pharmaceuticals. Also, just how heavy are those 3 or 4 periods a year? GRODY!

How much "research" went into this pill? Personally, I don't trust anything that has been run through the FDA over the last 8 years. Give it another year or two and I might trust prescribed drugs again.

I actually went outside today

That may seem like an absurd statement, but I really don't spend much time outside. Basically it's just a few minutes a day to get from a building to a vehicle and back or to get from one part of my office to another.

The lawn needed to be watered and since I have yet to put in a sprinkler system in the backyard (or have my dad do it), I have to do it the old fashioned way. It was kind of nice. I might go buy a lawn chair so I can soak up a little more fresh air and sunshine.

The iPhone is going to have to wait

Two annoying things I found out about today:

The vehicle registration fee is going up.  In fact, it's going to almost double.  If you want to know how much you might owe, the state has created a calculator.  I'm still gun shy from the time that Gray Davis  raised the vehicle registration fee so high I nearly had a heart attack after I got my renewal notice for my then almost new car.  It was as high as a car payment!  

The fee to renew a real estate license is going to go up in July.  Again, this is going to more than double.  Since the real estate industry has been hit pretty hard, my guess is that anyone on the fence about staying in the industry might see this as a sign to get off of it.

So instead of raising taxes, they raise fees.  It's fine, but can we do it gradually instead of in giant leaps? 

Bring on the Nyquil

Why is it that when I feel really crappy from a cold, no one believes that I'm sick? But when I'm starting to feel better, but sound awful I get the, "Oh, are you sick?" Yeah! I went home early because I was delirious with fever two days ago...wasn't that a big hint?

Maybe if I lose my voice tomorrow they will let me go home early.

Insert evil laugh here

Some fool at the Nielsen Company sent me a TV survey. I finally have a say over what is shown on TV! The only problem is that most of the shows I like have already been canceled.

I wonder how long they will put up with my viewing habits before they pull the plug?

The question is

Should I buy this DVD now or wait until it gets closer to Halloween? Has anyone actually seen the Paul Lynde Halloween Special? I mean how can you go wrong with KISS, Tim Conway and Donnie & Marie?

Grueling!

I'm finally free of jury duty.  It is/was a murder case, so the judge and lawyers were just grinding away at the potential jurors.  They have to do that since it's a pretty serious matter.  Too serious for me!

The judge was a lot nicer than I expected.  She was actually pretty cool.  Of course, my perception of judges comes from television (Judge Judy, the People's Court, Law & Order).

Next time, I prefer a civil case please!

Jury Crap Day 2

Did I mention the domestic scuffle I witnessed while waiting in the giant 2nd floor mezzanine of the courthouse?  It was like a live version of a Jerry Springer show.  Expletives and open palms were flying everywhere!

My head aches

I swear there were 500 people in the jury summons area this morning.  Ok, maybe more like 300. 

While we were awaiting our fates, they had a judge come on the loudspeaker and give us a freaking history lesson.  Listen, I did my time in school.  I already know about the three branches of government and the system of checks and balances.  Plus, I'm sure 85% of the people here have no idea what the Magna Carta is anyway.

Finally, I get assigned to a case.  I can't talk about it, of course.  I can say that I'm still a potential.  The problem is that it looks like it's going to be at least another day or two until they choose the 12 angry people and the alternates. 

Totally Sucks!

A few weeks ago, I got a dreaded notice in the mail.  Of course, I didn't really think about it because much like my love life, I've been laboring under the delusion that things would be going my way.

Oh, how wrong I was.  Tomorrow, I have to report for jury duty.  

Aside from my usual dislike of mingling with the teeming masses, my germaphobia will be tested as I'm convinced there will be a few carriers of Swine Flu in the maddening crowds.

Hmmm...maybe if I show up wearing a surgical mask and plastic gloves they will dismiss me!  My luck I'll be elected foreman.

Interesting

Don't ask why I was surfing around the PBS site, but I found this show called Do You Speak American?  What caught my eye was this page about California English.

Honestly, I didn't think Californians had an accent like people do in New England or in the South, but clearly I am wrong.  I can't tell you how many times I say "I'm like...and then he was like..." or "I was all...and he was all..." Of course, that's usually when I'm in a social situation.  There is no way I would be taken seriously at work if I spoke that way.

By the way, if you want to tell the difference between someone from Northern California and Southern California, see if they use or have ever used the word "hella".  That's definitely a NorCal word.

I'm confused though.  If cot and caught or hock and hawk don't sound the same, how should they sound?  Aren't they homonyms?

Any Recommendations?

I was browsing through the Apple Downloads page and I see that there is an application called Pantry.  You can sync it up with your iPhone so you know track your food inventory at home.  Sweet!  Now all they have to do is start adding RFI tags to food so I know when it's about to expire and the computer or phone can alert me.